Salt Lake City mini trip

Wednesday afternoon Malone and I left to go to Salt Lake City. Thursday morning I was scheduled to see Dr. Byrne and to see a genetic counselor and get an ultrasound. We got to SLC a little late around 9 , to my aunt karla and uncle Steve's house. The next morning Malone and I left early to get to University of Utah Medical Center where I would be getting my ultrasound first thing. The radiologist made it sound like baby's ventricles in his brain are a little bigger. I knew it could happen, I had just hoped it wouldn't. After that we talked to a genetic counselor who basically told us nothing. Seemed to Malone and I a waste of time. She said I would have to take more folic acid next time. And after talking about any possible genetic issues within our families, it sounded to me like this was just a fluke thing. Which I already figured anyway since no one in either of our families has any defect issues. So, we learned nothing. The next appointment was with Dr. Byrne. We mainly talked about when we would have the baby, which turns out we will schedule during the 39th week. I am scheduled to go back and see this Dr. on Oct.3rd. I might stay in SLC from then till I deliver. We haven't decided what to do yet. And the Dr made it sound like I still have a choice in whether I want to deliver c section or not. They will support whatever I want to do. I am going to ask my other doctors here at home to see what they think I should do. After this appointment we were scheduled to meet with a nurse who would explain the surgery and what to expect. She was the most helpful person we talked to all day.

After all our appointments Malone and I grabbed some lunch at Tocanos and headed home. It was an extremely long and stressful day. We felt like the trip was not as helpful as we had hoped it would be and were disappointed. As we get closer to having this baby I am feeling a lot more stress and worry. I don't really know what to do.

On a positive note, Natalie and my mom are throwing my baby shower next Wednesday! Yay! And Malone got an interview in Texas next Friday and they are flying him down there. Pretty exciting!

Week 29

29 Weeks

Not much has changed since I wrote last, other than I am still getting bigger and I am starting to notice swelling in my ankles a little more often. No surprise there really. I went to see my OBGYN last week and everything checked out okay. I took the glucose test and that turned out okay too, other than I tested a little anemic. So no diabetes which is good! The last thing I need is to have something go wrong with me to make things more complicated for baby. And so far, knock on wood, things have been really quite good! I have been asked a couple times this week if I am having twins. I guess I look kind of big for how far along I am. People think I'm due like this month. I try not to take these comments personally, but when you hear it from a few different people you can't help but feel just  a little self conscious. The doctor I talked to didn't seem to extremely worried about my weight gain, which was kind of a big jump in the last couple months. I told her I was a little concerned since I still have a ways to go. And she was really understanding, saying that I have had a stressful couple months, which I agreed with. Still though, I feel like I can do better.

This Thursday Malone and I are going down to Salt Lake City for more dr. appointments. We'll be finding out what the plan is going to be as far as when the delivery will be and what to expect with surgery on the baby after he's delivered. So I will be giving an update later this week probably. I pray everyday that our baby will continue to grow healthy and strong for a miracle that he will come out of all this with a healthy body and no serious complications. This defect is so varied depending on the person, so there is no telling what to expect really. So why not hope for a miracle? It could happen, right? Whatever happens, I know that it will be God's will, and that Malone and I will be strengthened and capable to handle whatever comes. I recently read this talk by Elder Bednar. And it really made me think. Something he said was that we have faith that we can be healed, but we need to have faith that we may not be healed too. We just need to have faith in God's will, whatever it may be, and know that it'll be alright.

On a side note, Malone has been done with school for a week or so now and he's loving the free time! He's been diligently looking for a job and doing interviews often. Lately he's been talking to Kiewitt out of Vancouver, WA, and another company in Texas. Malone is a lot more interested in Kiewitt right now. He's hoping for a job in the northwest OR/WA area. So we'll just see where all that leads us. While I am excited about Malone finding a job, thinking about him finding a job and then trying to figure out moving with everything else going on with me and baby I admit, stresses me out more. I just hope Heavenly Father knows what timing will be best for us and things will work out.

The other day I captured a pic of Malone snuggling with Kayto on the couch. I couldn't help but share. Kayto LOVES it. He's such a snuggly dog. Kayto makes me laugh a lot, he's such a funny dog, even though he sometimes drives me nuts.

Malone's Graduation

 

Malone is finally done with school!! I couldn't be more proud of him. He has earned his bachelors in construction management. He has worked so incredibly hard and has sacrificed so much, he has certainly EARNED this degree! Last night we were able to have most of my family and Malone's sister Holly's family all come to his graduation. Afterwards we all went back to our house and had dessert. I had made a banner for Malone's graduation and had it hanging in the living room, just to make it even more special. He is so happy to be done!

 

 

I also thought I would include a few pictures of some of the projects Malone did over the semester. I think he did such a great job on them all. It's fun to have a hubby who is artistically inclined like I am haha.

 

Week 27

How far along? 27 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +25
Maternity clothes? Wearing them all the time now. There are only a few of my normal tops I can still wear.
Sleep: Tossing and turning and cant seem to get comfortable. I wake up every time I have to roll over.
Best moment this week: Seeing baby boy's face on a 3D ultrasound!
Miss Anything? Being able to move around easier- it's getting harder and harder to maneuver with this big belly and sore back.
Movement: Definitely feeling some kicks from time to time!
Food cravings: Ice cream, bacon, Fritos (not together!)
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Have you started to show yet: Very much so
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Still in! (not for much longer I'm afraid)
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood: Lately, easily irritable due to being hot! Otherwise, I'm good.
Weekly Wisdom: John 14:27  "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Looking forward to: Doing some baby shopping and making crafts for his room



I am now 27 weeks along! Just about 3 months left to go!  Just in the last couple weeks baby boy has turned into quite the kicker! I just laugh about it sometimes because it can be kind of ridiculous. I just wish I had a window so I could see what he is doing in there! Even though it can be ridiculous, I love every second of it. It always brings a smile to my face and reminds me that he is there and that he is growing. And for me it's a personal thing that just me and baby have together because no one else can feel what I feel with him. It's such a special feeling I've never had before.  I can't wait to meet him! I have been dying to go shopping and get a crib and start his nursery, but I have to be patient for now. I also have been thinking I need to start a homemade project, something for baby boy; maybe put together a blanket or crochet something? I'm not super crafty, I don't know how to do that kind of stuff but I really want to learn. And I wish I knew for sure what I want to name him because I'd like to do something for his nursery with his name. I have a pretty good idea of what it is going to be, but I won't be 100% sure till I meet him. Guess that will have to wait! The other day Malone was laying next to me with his back against my belly and the baby started kicking him. I asked him, "Do you feel that?" He's like, "Yeah what is that?" I told him it was the baby kicking! And he was like, " Ohhh I thought you were just twitching!" So funny, I love it!

Today was our first ultrasound since we've been home from SF. They estimate he's a little over 2 lbs now! This is his first 3D ultrasound- look at that face! I'm already in love with him. Doctor says he is looking good. Doesn't look like anything has changed, other than he's getting bigger! Other than the expected stuff with SB, everything else is right on track. So we are thankful for that.

I get asked all the time how I'm feeling. Well, since it's my first I'm not sure how I'm "supposed" to be feeling but I can honestly say I feel pretty good! As I've said in past posts, I haven't been sick really at all.  A little cold here and there but nothing I can't handle. My belly is getting bigger, which is taking some getting use to. That has certainly changed in the last couple weeks. It's getting bigger every week! Bending down to pick up things is becoming a little trickier because I am trying to stay balanced on the way down and up. I get a little winded when I go for walks or upstairs, and I'm not sure if it's because I'm out of shape ( which I know is definitely a factor!) or if this baby is starting to crowd my lungs/diaphragm or something. Because the bump is getting bigger, I can feel a little more stress on my back. I feel like an old lady when I try to get up off the couch because it takes me a minute to get up, and then sometimes my back hurts a little from sitting or laying down. Of course after working all day, I have low energy by the time I get home and just want to lay down for a while. The last couple weeks I have noticed some swelling in my ankles and feet. I figure this all comes with the pregnancy package, so I'm not going to complain about it. It's just all stuff I am slowly getting use to dealing with. I also get asked if I am having any weird cravings... not if ice cream is weird! It ALWAYS sounds good, but I am pretty sure I was that way before I got pregnant.

The other day Malone and I scheduled to go down to visit with the doctors in Salt Lake City August 8th to talk about delivery/baby's surgery etc. I won't be delivering at Primary Children's, as I previously thought. I'll be delivering at University Hospital which is just down the way from Primary Children's. Baby boy will be getting his surgery done at Primary Children's. I've had people ask me why I have to deliver down in Salt Lake City. I don't HAVE to deliver there, I want to. If I were to have the baby here our baby would have to be transferred down there to have the surgery done. I want to deliver in Salt Lake so that we can be closer together. I don't really mind having to go down there though. We have lots of family down there. So I guess this is just the next step in our journey. I imagine this visit will be similar to the one in San Francisco, in that it will be a long day. Luckily it's only a day!

San Francisco- Days 4-7

After our decision was made with our nurse, Malone and I were done. We left UCSF and had the rest of the weekend to do what we wanted before we headed home. When we got back to the hotel, we went ahead and made arrangements for our flight home on Monday. After that we drove out to Oakland where we rented our car and got a new car rental. When we rented our first car, we only rented it till Friday so we needed to return it and re-rent (long story). Since we were in Oakland, we decided to go check out the Oakland Temple. It was only about 20 minutes from the car rental place so we figured why not? I can definitely tell you the second we stepped foot onto temple grounds it felt different. I felt so comfortable and peaceful like coming home. Even though I had never been there before, it felt familiar. We walked around the grounds and took pictures and we visited the visitors center. It's a beautiful place! I loved it! I am so glad I am part of a church that is the same no matter where you go.

 

After visiting the temple we went back to the hotel and relaxed the rest of the day. Saturday we slept in, got ready and went to the mall nearby. We walked around checking things out, looked for some shoes for Malone, with no luck. There was a movie theater connected to the mall so we went over and bought some tickets for that afternoon to "The Lone Ranger". We decided to go grab some lunch before heading to the movie, so we went to Hooters! Malone hadn't been there before and we were both craving wings. When we got there we were watching one of the TV's that showed the news. An airplane had crashed at the San Francisco airport just a couple miles from where we sat! The pilot was flying an airplane that was new to him and he came in too low hitting the back end of the plane on the runway tearing it off. Two people were killed many were injured, some in critical condition. It was just a fluke thing. I couldn't believe something like that was happening only a few minutes from where we were sitting. I admit I was grateful that wasn't the airport we were flying out of Monday.

After lunch we went to see our movie. We got there really early and got good seats. "The Lone Ranger" was really quite good! I liked it, but it's not a movie I'd run out to buy. Malone really liked it though. After the movie we went back to the hotel and hung out some more.

The view outside of Nick's restaurant

Sunday we decided to just take a drive and see where we ended up! And it turned out great! First we drove up towards Golden Gate Park, but a lot of the roads were closed off for the day so we connected to the Great Highway that runs all the way down the west coast. We stopped at the beach for a few minutes and walked around, collecting sand dollars. It was windy and kind of cold outside and of course the water was freezing, so no playing in the waves for us! We continued on down the coast and eventually stopped for lunch at a little café called Nick's. It had a beautiful view of the coast and apparently had some good seafood. I ordered some fish and chips and Malone got some fish tacos. All were so good! I'm not big into fish, but I enjoyed the fish I got a lot! That's saying something coming from someone who doesn't love fish. After lunch we continued down the coast, briefly passing a place called the Devil's Slide, which is basically a rock face that stretches into the water. I didn't get any pictures because we just drove past it. We made our way down to Half Moon Bay and decided it was time to get going home. Malone and I loved the trees and hills out there. There were lots of big vegetable gardens people sold local produce out of, and a little bit of farmland too. It felt good to be out of the city and into some countryside, and so close to the ocean too. It was a beautiful place! We crossed Crystal Springs Reservoir  and made our way to the bay side of the peninsula and back to the hotel. It was kind of fun to just go drive and explore not knowing where we were going to what we'd see out there. We had a really great time!

Monday finally rolled around and it was finally time to go home. I was actually really glad to go home. It had been the longest week ever and I missed being home. We packed up and headed to the airport around 9:30 to catch our 12:30 flight. It took us about half an hour to get to the rental place to drop off the car. We were able to catch a shuttle back to the airport and from there we had an hour and a half to get to our gate ( we had to be there at least an hour early ). We finally found where we were supposed to get our tickets and the line was LONG. We waited in line for about 30 to 45 minutes. By the time we got our tickets and went through security, we had 10 minutes to find our gate. Luckily our gate was right by security and we got there with 8 minutes to spare. How lucky! Of course we had to wait about 20 minutes before we could board, but I was glad we made it. We flew home and my mom picked us up from the airport. It's so nice to be home!!!

San Francisco- Day 4- Our Decision about Fetal Surgery

Day four of San Francisco we had an appointment back at UCSF to follow up with our nurse. After all the information we received the first two days, Malone and I had a pretty strong feeling about what our decision about surgery would be. Before we had even come out I had been leaning towards not doing surgery. After coming to San Francisco, it only confirmed what I already knew; this surgery wasn't going to happen for us. There are a lot of reasons why we decided no to do the surgery.

The biggest reason for me is if we had done the surgery, it would have left me with a big scar on my uterus. This scar weakens the uterus to the point that my doctors told me that I would never be allowed to go into labor ever, not even with future pregnancies. When the uterus gets stretched out with baby and already in its weakened state, I'd be at risk of uterine rupture if I went into labor. If I had done surgery, the rest of my pregnancy I'd be extremely fragile. No lifting (more than 5lbs), I would be very limited in what I could and couldn't do, I wouldn't be able to work, and I'd be mostly on bed rest. This is all because when the surgeons do surgery on the uterus like this, they are tampering with a muscle that doesn't like to be tampered with. When it's tampered with it wants to contract. And so after surgery, it is extremely important that the uterus does not do this. You've got this incision that is trying to heal itself AND stretch because baby is still growing. That puts a lot of stress on the uterus. So I would have had to be on all sorts of meds to keep that uterus relaxed throughout the rest of pregnancy. If the uterus starts to contract and my water breaks and I go into labor, my uterus could rupture. As I said before, this isn't just something that affects this pregnancy, this is what every pregnancy from now on would be like. This is our first child and we had hoped on having more in the future. We have a long way to go, and I don't want to be a ticking time bomb every pregnancy. Pregnancy is scary enough as it is.

Another big reason for our decision is that it increases the chance of our baby coming premature. This is common with fetal surgery. With the surgery, babies average about 34 weeks gestation. There have even been some babies that come around 28 weeks. For us, we didn't want to take a chance that our baby could be born this early because prematurity brings on a whole new set of issues that can happen. It could make things even worse for him. Plus he'd be stuck in the hospital most likely till his due date.

Those two things were the biggest reasons we didn't do surgery. Of course with every surgery you have all those other things, though unlikely, that could also go wrong. There are always risks with any surgery. These didn't bother me as much as the other two big things did. There was a concern about my care after the surgery. After discharge I'd have to stick around for  2-3 weeks just to make sure I was doing ok and that I wasn't showing signs of preterm labor. If everything went well then I would have been able to come home. But I would have still been fragile and my doctors worried that if anything were to happen, if I would have the proper medical care here to take care of me in my  condition and the condition of the baby. This was a debatable topic. Overall, we decided the best thing to do would be to relocate to Salt Lake City to be near Primary Children's where there would be doctors who could handle this situation if anything went wrong. While I am more comfortable with the idea of living in Salt Lake than San Francisco, having to relocate would still be a pretty big deal for me. Finding somewhere to go and someone who could take care of me 24/7 for the rest of the pregnancy would have been difficult I think. While this option was possible ( we probably could have worked something out ), it just weighed against the possible positive outcomes.

Another reason against the surgery, for us, it felt like a big gamble. We'd be gambling all these risks for just a chance that things would be better for our baby. There are no guarantees of the outcomes. The babies that have had this surgery are still at risk of needing a shunt, and there is a chance that it might help with motor function, and it might help reduce the malformation in the brain. Babies that don't do FS and wait till they are born might be a higher risk of needing a shunt, but a whole lot less likely of being born early and having all those problems in addition to what they've already got. And for us based on the condition that our baby is currently in, we felt that he had a better chance than most kids because his condition is somewhat mild compared to what it could have been. His lesion is low, and small, and covered, he has no club feet, and the malformation in his brain is minimal. There is a chance that the malformation could change between now and when he is born, but it was the only risk we were willing to take.

While I am a little bummed that the surgery didn't work out, I feel good about our decision. It's almost a relief actually because now our lives can somewhat go back to normal. I can go back to work, Malone can go back to work and school, we can continue to take care of our dogs and be in our home. As far as our plan about what  will happen when the baby is born I don't know exactly yet. We'll need to get in touch with our specialist in Idaho Falls and our nurse and get that all figured out with doctors down in Salt Lake City and possibly even visit down there.

For now, I can have peace of mind that we are doing the right thing that is best for our family. And I have faith that things will work out okay. We have lots of support from friends and family who are willing to help us. This experience has truly showed me how much love my Heavenly Father has for me and my little family and how he takes care of us through all those people who go out of their way to serve us and help us at this time. I feel very blessed to have them in my life and for the perspective I have gained through this experience.

4th of July in San Francisco!

At first we debated whether to go out or not because we didn't really know where to go and we worried about traffic/parking and stuff. But finally we got brave and decided to just GO! We grabbed breakfast at IHOP and drove up to see the golden gate bridge and pier 39 around 11. There was a big parking garage for the pier so we were able to find parking just fine (even though it was expensive!).


The first thing we did was buy tickets to cruise for an hour around Alcatraz and see the Golden Gate Bridge. We boarded the red and white fleet at about 12pm. We got out on the water and wow was it WINDY outside! My hair was all over the place and it actually got a little cold. Luckily I took my jacket with me. We must have taken a dozen pictures while we were out there.


Malone with Alcatraz in the background



Red and White Fleet Cruise Ship

Me and Malone on the boat

Golden Gate Bridge



Alcatraz

After cruising around the bay, we just explored the piers. We went to a little museum full of vintage arcade type games. Not just like, video game type things, but old old games from like the early 1900's. It was sort of fun to just take a look around. You can actually play all the games there too, they all work. There were a ton of shops and stuff too, like one shop we stopped at was a kite shop! We eventually made our way over to Pier 39 . Of course there were a ton more shops and all sorts of restaurants.

Then we stopped for lunch at... BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP! Super based around the movie Forrest Gump, and it was way busy but it was dang good. I ordered some coconut shrimp and Malone got some hushpuppies and deep fried jumbo shrimp. Yum! I was stuffed!

Bubba Gump Shrimp

Us at Bubba Gump Shrimp

 

 

After lunch we walked over to Fisherman's Warf and walked around looking at the street performers and checking out more shops. By about 5pm we were getting exhausted... well at least I was. Walking around in the heat in flip flops while pregnant? Yeah. Fireworks didn't start for another 5 hours and I just knew I wasn't gonna make it haha. Even though I love fireworks, we decided it was time to go. So we found our car and headed home. There was a TON of traffic coming in, so I knew it was gonna get really busy. And I was glad to avoid crazy traffic later that night after the fireworks were over. We got home and got cleaned up. And boy were we both SUNBURNED. Our faces, scalps, arms, necks, and my chest were fried! I was afraid that would happen since we didn't even think about sunscreen. I thought we had stayed indoors enough, but apparently not. Ouchy! Later that night we went out and got us some ice cream because the preggo lady wanted some like BAD haha. Anyway, it was a really fun 4th and we both had a good and memorable time!!