Big Announcement!!!

Malone got a job offer at Parkway Construction in Lewisville, Texas! It's just a few minutes north of Dallas. Malone will be a project manager in the office there. He starts the last week of January. So we have a ton to do between now and then to get packed up, moved out, moved in down there and sell our house here. Malone and I couldn't be happier about his offer. It's everything we had hoped for! It's a little bit of a downer to be so far from family, but this is such a great opportunity for Malone we couldn't pass it up. I have heard that Lewisville is a very nice area. And I can't lie, I'm excited about warm weather! Leaving the 20 degree weather here for 70 degree weather there sounds amazing. We look forward to being out on our own and to have a new adventure.

8 Weeks

Mason is now 2 months old! I can't believe how fast the time has gone. We have certainly been busy the past couple months. Since my last post, Mason saw his pediatrician here in Rexburg. The doctor is very pleased with how Mason is doing. He's doing all the things a typical 2 month old does. His head size is still within normal range and he is growing! He is now 11.6 lbs and 23 inches long! Mason is smiling so much more now and is almost always in a pleasant mood. The only time he cries is when he's tired and when he's hungry, and sometimes when he gets a bath. Mason loves to lay on his back and just kick his legs. He also loves to be held and snuggled and talked to.  Yesterday he just wanted to be held all day long. I didn't get anything done! But I have to say it was nice to snuggle with my little guy all day. I like that he likes to be held by me. I think he is getting close to starting to laugh. I swear last night I heard him giggling in his sleep. He continues to sleep really good at night. Last night Malone put him to sleep around 9:30 and he didn't wake up again till 3:30 am! I just love my boys. And I have to brag about Malone because he is so great about helping with Mason and giving me breaks when I need them! He takes such good care of Mason and me.

6 Weeks- and Mason's first Thanksgiving!



5 Weeks

A couple weeks ago Mason had his first Spina Bifida clinic down at Primary's! Clinic is when you stay in one room while all the doctors he needs to see file in and check him out. Mason saw his neurosurgeon, a urologist, occupational therapist, and a dietician. His neurosurgeon is very pleased with how Mason's head and back are doing. So far the ETV is holding up and his hydro is under control, which is fantastic! His back is healing up really well too. The urologist wants to do a test next time we are down there to see what we are dealing with as far as what his bladder issues will be. For now he's doing great. The occupational therapist gave us some pointers as to things we can do to help strengthen Mason's neck. The dietician thinks Mason is doing good and he has no issues with eating at this point, which is good. SO all good news this time! They told us to come back in two months! Malone and I were so relieved to not have to go back to Utah so soon. We've had to go down so often the last 6 weeks, I'm not sure how much more we could take! At home we have Early Intervention coming to our house. Early Intervention is a free program that comes out to your house to give your child the care he needs if they are going to have delays. In Mason's case we will be having a Physical Therapist come out to the house to work with him and help him meet his milestones. Our goal for him is to just help him meet the milestones kids his age are hitting. At this point he is actually on track, which is fantastic!


6 Weeks Old

6 Weeks

We have been enjoying watching Mason grow. He amazes us everyday. He is cooing, starting to smile more, and he does these happy sighs that I love! He likes to lay on his back and just kick his legs and look around the room. He is sleeping pretty well at night. He sleeps 4-5 hours at a time usually. I only wake up with him around 2-3am to feed him and he goes right back to sleep and doesn't wake up again till 6 or 7 in the morning. The other day I had Mason laying down on the bed, and Malone was on the other side of the room. Malone started talking and Mason started looking around for him! It was so cute!  Everyone loves his crazy long blonde hair, which is by far his best feature. He still has very blue eyes and I am starting to wonder if they will stay that way. Mason is a very happy baby and we feel blessed to have him in our home.

6 weeks and handsome!

Last week we celebrated Thanksgiving! Malone and I went to my parent's for the holiday. Mason wore an outfit his aunt Heidi bought him, it says "My First Thanksgiving" on it with a little turkey on the bum. We have been looking forward to having him wear it for this special occasion! Malone and I were the only ones to come for Thanksgiving this year. It was a lot more quiet and low key than usual, but we had a good time hanging out and playing nertz. The next day we went to Malone's parent's place in West Yellowstone and had dinner there with his parents and sister's family. We played hand and foot, ate lots of food, and enjoyed the great company. At the end of the night, Malone's mom felt inspired to give all the grandkids a little ornament, something that represented them and their spirit of Christmas. Mason received a little beaded candy cane and a stuffed reindeer. I think it will be a new tradition for our family to give our kids an ornament every year to put on the tree.

Mason's First Thanksgiving- 6 weeks

Turkey bum!

Another Thanksgiving outfit from a friend of mine

Grandpa Snedaker and baby Mason on Thanksgiving



Cousin Parker holding Mason at Grandma Yarger's

Emily, Katie, and Hannah holding Mason at Grandma Yarger's

Kurt, Sarah, Holly, Emily, Katie, Hannah, and Mason

12/5/13

We have our Christmas tree up! yay!

4 Weeks Old

It has already been  4 weeks since Mason was born. This month has flown by! In my last post I said that we would be headed back down to Primary's in SLC to get Mason's head checked out by his neurosurgeon. Turned out that his dr. felt same as our pediatrician back home that it is likely he would need a shunt placed. But he said lets wait a week and see how he does. If it is the same or worse we'll do surgery. We went ahead and scheduled an MRI for November 4th, and surgery for November 5th just in case we have to go the surgery route. While we were there we were able to have Mason's stitches in his back taken out and he was cleared to lay on his back now. After they removed the stitches, we could see his back a little better and it looked so good! And we were also instructed to start cathing him only once a day instead of 4 times, which was a huge relief! That day we were able to take Mason home in a regular car seat and since then, we have been able to treat him more normally. We are still careful with his back, but we can pick him up without worrying as much and we can change his diapers while he lies on his back, which is MUCH easier.  He loves to lay on his back now.


Mason after his MRI




The following Saturday (Nov 2nd) we headed back down to SLC.  His head had not improved since the previous appointment. So we were pretty much on track for getting surgery. He had his appointment for the MRI Monday the 4th.Mason had to fast for a few hours before the MRI which was not easy for a little infant. I struggled watching him cry because he was so hungry. Mason had to be sedated for the MRI. I held him in my arms as the nurse gave him the medication.  I don't know why, but I cried as I watched the nurse put him in the big MRI machine. He was just so little and I felt bad that he had to do this at all. His MRI took about 30 minutes, and they brought him out to where we were waiting. At first Mason had a hard time keeping his oxygen up because of the sedative, so they had to put him on oxygen for a couple hours. He didn't wake up for about 3 hours. I knew he was okay because his vitals looked good, but I couldn't help but worry that he wouldn't wake up! Thank goodness he did! He struggled a bit that day because of the sedative, so I wasn't able to nurse until later that night. Since Mason was sedated for the MRI, he had to stay overnight for observation. Malone and I stayed the night there with him on this tiny little futon couch in his room, which made for a long night.


The next day, Mason was taken down to surgery at about 7:30 am. Mason was a good candidate for an alternative surgery to a shunt called an ETV, or an Endoscopic Third Ventriculostomy. This procedure opens a hole inside the brain to reestablish flow of cerebral spinal fluid (CSF) and prevents too much fluid from being made. It also helps prevent future infections and a lower long term complications compared to shunts. So we were excited that he was able to do this surgery. We are hoping this option works for him. If there are any problems with the ETV, it will occur within the next few months so we will have to keep an eye on him for a while. Malone and I waited in the waiting area for about 2 1/2 hours for Mason to get done. All the while I just kept worrying about him and getting teary-eyed. I just worried that something would go wrong and he would have brain damage or something. It's a little scary knowing there is a man in another room operating on my little baby's brain! Eventually the neurosurgeon came and talked to us about how things went. He said that while he was working on Mason, he was able to create the opening for the CSF, and stop part of the brain from making as much CSF. But he wasn't able to get as much as he had hoped because there was a little blood that clouded his vision. But he feels confident that he was able to get enough and that the ETV should work. Over the next few months we'll be keeping a close eye on his head size. We are praying that this works! If not, we'll have to take him back in for shunt surgery. After Mason got out of surgery, he was pretty awake, but had this really raspy weak cry which was so sad! He had to have a tube down his throat during surgery, so I'm sure his throat was a little sore. His head was all orange from the iodine and he has about a 2 inch crescent shaped incision on the right side of his head. He had to stay in the hospital for another 2 days. It wasn't until Thursday afternoon that he was finally discharged to go home. It was a long week at the hospital. Malone and I stayed every night there with Mason. Mason had a quick 5 min MRI on Thursday to make sure the hole made for the CSF stayed open, which it did.

He cried a bit when he was coming out of the anesthesia- he looked so little and so sad. Poor baby!

Poor little guy!

I had asked the nurses to give him a little bath and try to get some of the orange iodine out of his hair. He looked so cute sitting there!

Here is his incision- it's stitched up with dissolvable stitches. Looks a little scabby, but he is doing fine with it.

While we were in SLC, Malone got a phone call Monday (Nov. 4th) from a company in Las Vegas called Southwest Gas who wanted to fly Malone out for an interview. They wanted him to fly out Thursday the 7th, the day that Mason would be discharged. At first I wasn't happy about Malone leaving me and Mason to go to an interview, but after a while I decided agreed with Malone it would be for the best for our family. We were totally unprepared for Malone to have an interview, he had no dress clothes at all. He had to borrow everything from my uncle and cousin. Malone flew out first thing Thursday morning for his interview. He said that the interview went really well and that he is very interested in working with them. They have great health benefits, 401k, good starting pay, pension, and he won't have to move around to different locations as part of his work. He is very excited about it and hasn't stopped talking about it since. We really hope it works out even though it's kind of far from home and not exactly our first choice of places to live.  Malone flew back that night and we were able to go home the next morning.

Since we've been home, Mason has been doing great. We went and saw his pediatrician yesterday and he is happy with the way Mason is looking. He said his head size looks great as well as everything else overall. He has gained a pound and has grown about a half inch! Malone and I are so happy about how he is doing! We still can't believe we have a baby sometimes. Life has sure changed, but definitely for the better. Mason is such a blessing and he has brought Malone and I so much closer. I love having a little family!

On our way home!

One month old!

Mason Dean Bullock's birth story



My last day of being pregnant! This is right before
we checked into the hospital.

The last few weeks have been an incredible experience. Malone and I welcomed our first child into this world. On Monday October 14th, I checked into the hospital at 5:30am. Malone's dad was already there waiting for us. What a blessing it was to have him there with us! A little while later my parents came and stayed with me in my room. After a lot of prepping and meeting doctors, I found myself in the OR waiting to have my baby. Mason  Dean Bullock was born by C-section at 8:13 am. I wasn't allowed to see him then, but I heard his gurgled cry before they rushed him out of the room. It was such a relief to hear him cry, I cried. Malone was with me the entire time holding my hand. The doctors closed me up and I was transferred to a bed and taken to a recovery room. I knew before hand that there was a chance I wouldn't get to see him or hold him when he was first born, so I was prepared. While I was in the recovery room, the transport team who was taking Mason to Primary Children's Hospital stopped in the room so that I could see him. The first thing I saw was this long blonde hair!! I've never seen that much blonde hair on a newborn before. Mason was in a clear plastic box and I could see that his bottom half was covered with what looked like some kind of plastic sack. I wasn't able to see his lesion on his back. I came to find out later that the sac on his back ruptured during delivery, and it was wide open. You could see the muscles and even a little bit of bone. I never did see his back in person, Malone described it to me. The transport team took Mason to Primary's where he was taken care of. Malone's dad met him there later.


The first time I saw Mason

Malone helping clean Mason before his surgery



Mason before surgery (sorry kind of graphic!)

Eventually I was taken to my room that I would be staying in the rest of my time at the hospital. I was really tired after the surgery, it was hard to stay awake. Looking back now, I don't really recall much from that day. The only thing I remember is when Malone came and got me and he wheeled me down to Primary's so that I could hold my son for the first time. It was about 9pm that night, and I had mixed feelings when I saw my son lying there on his tummy with all sorts of wires, IV's, and a bandaged little back. While I was so excited to see this little boy I have heard so much about, it broke my heart to see him like this. Even though he looked so sad, I could see that he looked just like his daddy. And that made me so happy. That night, Malone and I finally agree that we should officially name this little boy Mason Dean Bullock. Mason is the name of Malone's brother who died shortly after birth. I always thought of Malone's brother as a very special spirit who was so strong he only needed a body. And now we both sort of consider him a sort of guardian angel.  Dean is Malone's grandfather's name, who sealed me and Malone in the temple; the man who made us an eternal family. It all just seemed to fit. I didn't name Mason his name because it's popular, but because it's a name that actually had meaning to us both. It's special to us and that's all I care about.

First time I touched Mason

First time holding Mason

The next morning, Mason was scheduled for surgery. I was wheeled down to see him before he was taken to surgery. After he went into surgery, it almost killed me to go back to my room at University. I wanted so badly to be there when the doctor came out to tell us the news of how the surgery went. But I was so tired and in need of medication. The second day after surgery was by far the hardest day for me. I was very uncomfortable and just exhausted. Mason's surgery was supposed to last up to 3 hours, but he was done in 2. The surgery went perfectly. The closure couldn't have gone better, and his back really looks great. We were extremely pleased with the outcome. Since the surgery, now we wait to see if any hydrocephalus kicks in. Since his back has been closed, the brain has to learn to reabsorb all the cerebral spinal fluid that had been seeping out the back. If the brain cannot reabsorb the fluid, it will accumulate and the head will swell. Mason's head size remained pretty stable after surgery and during our stay at the hospital. He has really great movement in his legs, especially his thighs. The Physical Therapist thinks there is some weakness in his right lower leg and ankle. We aren't sure how much feeling he has in his right foot. But he does kick really well, especially when you try to change his diaper.

Mason's back after surgery. It looks so good!

During our stay in the hospital, we were blessed to have many family members come and visit us. It really meant a lot to have family support. Even family members we haven't seen in a while stopped by which was so great! By Friday the 18th, I was discharged from the hospital feeling really good! I surprised many people at how fast I was able to get up and going after having a C-section. Mason saw many different specialists including Physical therapists (checked his movement and muscle tone), speech therapist (to check his swallowing),  pediatrician, and a neurosurgeon. And to our surprise, Mason was discharged the next afternoon. I was so happy that we could all go home as a family, together.

We were instructed as to the care Mason required when we got home. Mason has to be cathed 4 times a day, every 6 hours. We have to change his dressings on his back once a day. Mason has to stay on his sides or on his belly at all times, he can't be on his back and we have to be careful about putting any pressure on the incision on his back for 2 weeks. Mason was not able to come home in a regular carseat, we had to borrow a carbed from the hospital. The carbed allowed Mason to lay on his side during the ride home. And we were asked to come back for a 2 week follow up on November 1st. We are hoping after the follow up he can be on his back like a normal baby.

Since we have been home it has been a whirlwind of new; new responsibility, new routine, new normal. We wake up ever 2-3 hours to feed and change Mason's diapers. Then every 6 hours (day or night) Mason has to be cathed. And I will be honest when I say, it can be extremely difficult to accomplish even these few tasks. Mason has to have his diaper changed while he lies on his tummy. And while we are happy that he has movement in his legs, it makes it really difficult to change his diaper because he has to lie on his tummy and he kicks and screams, making for a very wiggly baby! Cathing is a two man job, Malone comes home early from work just to help me cath him everyday. I really struggle with cathing for some reason, but Malone is great at it.

However, just because Mason was discharged from the hospital doesn't mean he's out of the woods yet. Today, day 5 since we have been home, Mason had a checkup with our pediatrician here at home. Everything checked out good except for the size of Mason's head. Mason's head has grown 3 centimeters in 5 days, which is pretty fast. Our doctor is concerned at this rate of growth and believes Mason will most likely need a shunt placed. While a shunt isn't the end of the world, it is still another surgery. We will do anything for our son, and if a shunt will help him then we'll do it. But Malone and I are both very concerned about him. We got a call from the coordinator in the Spina Bifida Clinic at Primary's today who was informed about our son's current condition. She was also concerned about him and asked us if we wanted to come down tomorrow to see the doctor. Malone and I just couldn't swing that that fast, so we settled for an appointment for Monday. I speak for us both when I say we are both so scared and concerned for our son now. I am afraid he will start to show more symptoms of hydrocephalus between now and when we get to SLC Monday. I don't know what we will do if the doctor says he needs to go into surgery next week for a shunt. Malone has already missed a ton of work as it is. I just hope that things will work out and that Mason will be okay, as well as our affairs here at home.



Looks just like his daddy!

Starting to see his head is getting a little bigger.

More pics to come!

4 Days Left

I hadn't planned on writing till after the baby arrived, but I just had to update a couple things I learned at my doctor appointments today.

My first appointment was with the neurosurgeon at Primary's who will be operating on the baby's back and monitoring his hydrocephalus. It was a really great appointment! It was a long conversation, mostly him explaining the surgery procedure and what to expect afterwards. But I'll hit the highlights- first of all, the idea of my baby spending a month in the hospital would be very unlikely. He would have to have complication on top of complication for him to be there that long, so worst case scenario. But it is more likely that he'll be in the hospital about a week. That compared to a month sounds SO much better. Of course it all depends on how things go, but the nurse practitioner (who was also in the room) said to most likely plan on 5-7 days. So there is a chance that at the end of the week our whole family can go home together! That would be amazing! Second, the neurosurgeon says that he tries really hard to not go straight for the shunt with babies with hydrocephalus. Once the back is repaired, and a baseline measurement of the head is taken, he monitors the head very closely for a while to see how the baby does. If it is extremely serious, we'd know within the first couple days if a shunt is necessary. However, alot of babies can go months before the need for a shunt. Some don't need one at all! He said that only 70% of babies actually need a shunt. That number compared to the 90% I had heard previously sounded good to me. Babies who undergo the fetal surgery, 50% of them still need shunts. Surprisingly I am good with those odds. And I am happy to have a doctor who is willing to push it a little, he won't put in a shunt unless he feels it is absolutely necessary. In the past doctors put one in immediately no questions asked. And believe it or not, babies can handle a little water on the brain without brain damage because their heads are so soft and flexible because their skull hasn't fused yet. An adult couldn't handle that much pressure because their skull is fused and the pressure builds faster because there is no room to expand like a baby's skull does. How interesting is that? Anyway, it all made sense to me and I feel good about the plan my doctor has for him. When we do finally get the baby home the neurosurgeon will be working with our pediatrician back home to monitor the hydrocephalus. We will need to come back to Salt Lake City for followups over the next few months so the neurosurgeon can check things out. I realize to most people this sounds really scary, but right now I feel so good about this and how it is working out.

And speaking of things working out, I have to express my gratitude for all the help and prayers we have been blessed with. Looking back, I can see all the blessings that have come to us from this experience. When Malone and I first got pregnant and were figuring out finances to purchase things for the baby, it was a little overwhelming. We were a little concerned about getting everything we need for him with the little money we have to spend. But after the generous gifts of many people, we have what we need and more. I never thought it would work out this way! What a huge blessing! I am also so thankful that we decided not to do fetal surgery and do surgery after he is born. It has worked out so well because I am having this baby in a place where we have family support, it's not too far away from home, he is going to be a healthy baby who is full term when he arrives, I have been healthy and didn't have to worry about what life would have been like had we chosen fetal surgery, and we have amazing doctors who have helped us along the way. The doctors here seem really great and I actually like them quite a bit! Malone and I were able to get baby boy on medicaid right before I got here, so knowing he's covered is such a relief. That is just a few things off the top of my head that I can think of that have worked out so well.  I just am so thankful for the way things have turned out so far. After today, I just know that things will be okay. I know we made the right decisions that brought us here. And I know that me and baby will be in good hands next week. I haven't felt so confident this entire pregnancy. The reassurance feels so good after all the uncertainty we've felt during the last 6 months. I remember praying and asking Heavenly Father, you've got me on board now what do you want me to do? And I have felt his guidance throughout all the decisions we have had to make and I couldn't be more grateful.

I am also grateful to all the people who have helped us out in so many ways. Both our families have been so supportive of us. Even members we maybe haven't seen in a while have reached out with prayers, gifts, and even letting me come and stay for two weeks, which means so much. We have friends who have also reached out and helped us from gifts, to getting our mail when we're out of town, to pet sitting our dogs while we are away, as well as words of love, support, and prayers. Some of that might sound silly but knowing we have people we can depend on and help us has been one of the biggest blessings we have received. While this experience has been rough and scary at times, I am thankful to have had it because I don't think I would have seen how the Lord works and how aware he is of us and how he loves us and takes care of us through others. It has inspired me to try and be that kind of person for others, to listen to the spirit and to serve others more. Because you sometimes may not even realize how much your service means to others. I now know that for myself because of this experience. It just goes to show how Heavenly Father kind of molds us into our potential selves and I can honestly say I am so excited to see where this leads me in the end.

Update: I forgot to mention that I am scheduled to deliver c section first thing Monday morning (14th). And our son will have surgery on his back first thing Tuesday morning (15th). Please keep us in your prayers.

Week 38- 7 days left!

Well here we are at 38 weeks with only 7 days left in this pregnancy. It is both exciting and scary at the same time. I have very mixed emotions about the next couple weeks. We have an idea of what to expect from the delivery and after, but no idea what to expect of baby boy. Depending on what his issues are could mean staying in the hospital for up to a month after delivery. We hope and pray everyday that our little guy won't be dealing with any major complications. I pray that he will be healthy and strong despite his issues. I am also a little nervous about the c section, since I have never had surgery in my life or even been to the hospital. But I think we both will be in good hands at this hospital.

I have been living here at my aunt and uncles house now for about 5 days and it has been good. I am so thankful for their hospitality and for letting me stay for so long. My aunt treats me like I am one of her own. And my uncle has been making sure I stay well hydrated, he is always bringing me bottled water, haha. I like it here and am comfortable here. But at the same time it isn't home. I miss my own bed, my dogs, my normal routine... but most of all I miss Malone. He went back home the day after we got here to go back to work. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I have had to do so far because I wanted so badly to go home with him. He is my strength and my comforter. Without him here has been a little lonely. We haven't spent more than a few days apart from each other since we have been married. While in normal situations I could probably have dealt with it okay, but this time is so critical and scary for me because I am so close to having this baby. I have missed his strong arms holding me and telling me it will all be okay. I can't wait till he comes back this weekend.

Anyway, this week I will be going to two last appointments before D-day. Wednesday I meet with  the neurologist who will be operating on my baby. And then Thursday I meet with my obgyn who will be delivering. After that we wait till Sunday when I have to go in for some labs / bloodwork . Then bam, 5:30 Monday morning we will be checking into the hospital to have a baby. I am excited to see this little boy I have heard so much about. I am told I won't get to hold him right after he is born, but I will get to see him. They will do surgery as soon as they feel he is ready, which is usually within 24 hrs of birth. I don't know when I will get to see him after that. But that is all we know at at this point. The scariest part is all of the unknowns, but that has been that way since we found out about his condition. And I am sure it will be that way even after we get him home. We have had to just run on faith that things will be okay because it is totally out of our hands. It is all in the Lord's hands.

I  am thankful for the knowledge of the gospel in my life and the strength and peace it brings me everyday. I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of me and my little family's needs and has bestowed such tender mercies upon us. I know He has a plan for me and is giving me this opportunity to become a stronger person by trusting in Him and allowing Him to be in control. I am so thankful to have Malone in my life. I know that he was meant to be a part of my life, to be my eternal companion. He is my strength, my comforter, my best friend. We have been truly blessed despite the trials we  face at this time. After this experience I look forward to being a strength to others in their times of heartache and trial. I feel like I have something to offer others that I have never felt before. And I know that comes from my Heavenly Father.

Week 36

I've had mixed emotions this week about this coming week, that is, me moving down to Utah for the last couple weeks of this pregnancy. While I am excited to be nearly done with the pregnancy thing and to meet this little boy of mine, I am also sort of terrified. It's a big change, a lot of unknowns, I have a very vague idea of what to expect with delivery and etc, I'll be putting myself in the care of unfamiliar doctors from mine at home, I'll be away from home, and I'll be away from Malone for probably the longest I've ever been away from him our entire marriage. Malone will be with me for the next appointment on October 3rd, but he'll go home and work until delivery day when he comes back. I think just the idea of being in unfamiliar territory (for myself and pretty much everyone I know) at such a critical time is the scariest feeling I think I've ever felt.

 I've been thinking about this a lot and am usually on the verge of tears when I do think about it. I think Heavenly Father is aware of my fears, because he seems to find a way to give me comfort. Today I was a little teary thinking about it during an ultrasound at my specialist's office. I said a little prayer in my head asking for peace because I didn't want to cry. Then my doctor gave me a little bit of good news. Baby's head is still stable, and it's looking better today. I think the rest of his body has kind of caught up with his head so it doesn't look as big as it did. But his head size has been stable for about 3 or 4 weeks now which basically means the hydro is not getting worse. He is about 6lbs 3oz right now, has hair, and has been a real champ at passing the BPP's (biophysical profile). He continues to practice his breathing like a pro and is kicking like a soccer player all the time. His movement is great, his size is perfect. He really is perfect in every way. I've decided that really, he's a perfect baby. Everything about the way he is is as God intended for him. The defect is just a part of who he is, not who he is. It's funny how you can admire a little person you haven't even met yet. He's so strong, such a champ, and just surprises me all the time with his capabilities that he has. I know that when he gets here, all the admiration and love I have for him will only increase. What an inspiring person he is going to be! I can't wait to meet him. I admit I do have days where I feel sad for him that he may not be able to do the things other kids do, but I know he will have other gifts that will make up for it. All this came to my mind today during and after the appointment. I know that it is my Heavenly Father telling me not to be afraid that everything will be okay and encouraging me to look forward to having this baby and to be proud of him.

As I was getting ready to leave, my doctor gave me a little gift basket that the nurse coordinator Dana put together for me. Dana has been a really good friend and has been so supportive throughout this ordeal. She always calls to see how I'm doing and gives me a big hug when I see her. She tells me that out of all the patients they have, my family has a special place in her heart. This to me was quite surprising since I imagine they have a lot of patients. So I don't know if she treats all the patients this way or if it's just me, ( I like to think it's just me even if it isn't), but I am so grateful to have her in my life at this time. At the beginning of all this, she was the one that said to me that I'd be surprised of the people that come out of the woodwork, and she was right! She is one of those people. Anyway, Dana had put together this gift basket for me herself. She wasn't in the office today to give it to me herself, but I was so touched by her kindness. As I said before, I was feeling scared this morning but when I left that office I felt so much love, support, and peace. It felt really good and was definitely needed today. I guess my little prayer was answered!

My mom and I had been talking about whether I feel ready for the baby ( as far as things, clothes, blankets etc). And I admitted I still felt like there were a few things we needed still, and I whined about not having enough clothes to wear. Well, she took me shopping on Saturday and completely spoiled me. She bought me a few new maternity tops and a few pairs of maternity pants, and some nursing essentials. And then we picked up a few last minute things for baby including bassinet sheets, which I've been needing. And then as if that wasn't enough, she bought me lunch. I am so grateful for all that she has done for me and all the love an support she gives me. What a wonderful mother I have! :-)

Week 34

34 Weeks!

I went to my regular dr. appointment with our perinatoligist Dr. Beauchamp today. She has been monitoring the baby's condition and watching for changes related to his NTD (neural tube defect). The last couple times I have seen her, she has told me that my baby's hydrocephalus (hydro) has gotten worse. I knew from beginning with all this that there was a good chance that my baby would need a shunt placed if his hydro was bad enough. Today she informed me that his hydro is already bad enough that he'll need a shunt placed when he is born. I don't know how soon after, but probably quite soon. I think they will want to make sure that is taken care of before it gets worse. Babies with spina bifida suffer from hydrocephalus due to an impairment in circulation of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF). A shunt is basically a drain that is placed in order to remove excess CSF. After the visit it really sunk in that this is yet another thing that my baby will have to deal with. While shunts have been used for years and are quite successful, there are still things that could go wrong with it I have heard. It's hard to take in more bad news, but I am glad that we have ways of treating his condition as best we can. I pray everyday that he won't have any complications when he is born and that he'll be okay.


Other than that news, everything else is looking good! Our appointment today went really quick because all the things they wanted to check checked out good; his practice breathing, movement, fluid,  everything checked out great. He even got hiccups during the ultrasound, which is a first, and that counts as practice breathing apparently. What a good boy!

 

Malone is still looking for work. All the places he has tried he hasn't heard anything. I think he has kind of slowed down looking for now just because we are so close to having this baby come now. He has basically told a couple places that he wont be available till baby comes so, I think he is just going to hold off really looking for now. I am hoping that after the baby comes the timing will work out and he'll find something. It would be such a great miracle if he did! As of now we are planning on me going back to work part time until he finds a job. I would rather be home with our little guy, but with the way our finances are right now it's not an option. It sucks because we have worked so hard for so long to prepare for this and nothing has worked out the way we had planned. But isn't that just how life is sometimes? I guess we have a lesson to learn about making plans haha.

 

In the meantime Malone and I are having a little fun on the side. We got together with our friends Deidra and Kacy at the Blackfoot Fair last Saturday. We got there around 5 and wandered around and looked at animals, 4H stuff, and stuff at the commercial building, as well as partaking of some delicious fair food of course! We left around 9 or so, and I was exhausted! By the time we got to the car I could barely lift my legs to get in the car, I was so sore. I spent the next day vegging out on the couch all day, which was great. Malone and I had a great time with Deidra and Kacy, as usual!

Week 32

How far along? 32 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 35+
Maternity clothes? Most definitely
Sleep: Still tossing and turning- I found I sleep better if the room is cold and if I take a warm bath before I go to bed.
Best moment this week: I got a few things organized in the nursery! It is starting to feel real that we are expecting someone to come live in that room now.
Miss Anything? I miss laying on my stomach.
Movement: Sometimes it feels like he's a kick boxer and other times he just likes to stretch out and stick his feet under my right rib.
Food cravings: It changes frequently- at this very moment I want orange juice.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Have you started to show yet: People think I am due any day now, so yes I'd say I am showing.
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Still in mostly.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood: I cry a lot. It doesn't take much to trigger it either. I think it comes from stress and lack of sleep (which isn't about to change once the baby is here so I guess I better get use to it!)
Weekly Wisdom: "I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful; if you will go to the temple to both make and claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman or man can make in this world; if you will show others, including your children, the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do."- Jeffrey R. Holland
Looking forward to: Knowing 100% for sure what we're going to name this little boy, and dressing him up in the cute clothes I've got!

Week 31- Baby shower, birthday, updates on job searching, and dr. appointments oh my!

Cake Malone got from work

Our new crib! I love it!

Last week my sister-in-law Natalie and my mom threw my baby shower at my parents house. The theme was "Baby under construction". I thought a construction theme would be a cute theme for baby Bullock's nursery too since his daddy is in construction. Natalie pulled it off with some really cute decorations and we also had colors that I wanted for his room too which was great. It was fun to see all my friends and family there. It was a good reminder that there are people in my life who care about me and support me. It's a really good feeling. My mom had us play this one game where everyone got a piece of clay and had to make a baby. I got to judge the best baby! It was so funny and I think we all had a good time. Baby Bullock got all sorts of good stuff- blankets, clothes, pacifiers, bottles, diapers, etc. It's all sitting in his room now, I need to go through and start putting things away and organizing his room and figuring out what else I need to get so that we are prepared for when baby comes. I don't have all the furniture I was hoping to get for him, but we'll have to do with what we have. When I got home from the shower, Malone had a big construction cake he helped design with a lady from the Rexburg Broulim's bakery. It was so cute! Then Malone walked me upstairs and surprised me with a beautiful crib that he went out and bought and put together himself. It was just the exact one that I wanted! He knows I've been wanting to start the nursery forever now, and finally I have something to start with! I really want to go out and buy some bedding for the crib now. So excited!

Thursday night Malone and I went to a BBQ at my coworker's house. We always have an annual bbq at his house every summer. It was fun to hang out with everyone from work! Afterwards, Malone had to get packed and get ready to leave to drive down to Salt Lake City Airport to catch an early morning flight at 6am to Texas for an interview. He decided to just drive through the night to get there at 4 to catch the plane. He was able to travel there safely, get his rental car, and have his interview. According to Malone the interview went well. He'll be hearing back from them this week hopefully.  Malone hung out in Dallas for a little while after his interview and caught his plane around 9 that night. We arranged for him to stay at my aunt's house when he landed in SLC so he could get some sleep. Long day for Malone!

Malone had mentioned to the people in Texas about how we are expecting a baby in October and how he'll be available after the baby comes. Today we found out that they think he's a good candidate, and want him to get in touch with them after the baby comes. So we'll see how that goes! In the mean time, Malone has also spoken with a guy who might be interested in hiring Malone for his company in Arkansas, which we'll have to also wait and see there too. I just pray that this job thing is timed just right for us and for when the baby comes. Malone really wants a good job to help provide for our baby, and it's getting closer and closer now. He's such a good provider, I have no doubt that things will work out for us financially. It's just a little scary not knowing what to expect right now.
Monday was my 27th birthday! I can't believe I am that old. We celebrated over a few days- Saturday my best friend Deidra and her hubby met up with me in IF. Her hubs went and wandered the mall while Deidra and I got pedicures. After pedicures, I got a hold of Malone and he met up with us (he was traveling home from SLC) at Olive Garden where all of us had lunch! We called it a birthday celebration for all of us August birthdays. Me, Deidra, and her husband Kacey are all August birthdays. Then Sunday we celebrated my birthday with my family at my parent's house. We had steak and funeral potatoes (yummy!) and I got a birthday apple pie, just what I wanted! We played a couple games and just hung out. Then Monday I worked all day at the Physical Therapy office. My coworkers got me a basket of goodies from the candy shop across the street. Then my boss bought lunch for everyone to celebrate all us August birthdays in the office. After work Malone and I went to Idaho Falls and got some dinner at Texas Roadhouse. I got a free dessert for my birthday of course. Then today, the corporate office at Broulim's bought me a cake for my birthday. It was a good birthday.

He's got his hand in front of his face

Tuesday I had a Dr. appointment at Madison Womens Clinic. We did an ultrasound to test to see how things are going with baby boy as far as measuring fluid, movement, if he is practicing breathing, etc. He passed with flying colors- so he's doing really good. I'm also doing good too, bp is still looking good and everything. Thank goodness for that! Even though baby has his back issue, he is still pretty much a regular healthy baby. We'll just have to take a couple extra steps after he is born and hope he stays that way. I had another appointment with Dr. Beauchamps today (our perinatoligist) and she said that baby's vents are a little bigger than last time, but everything else looks good. I will be seeing doctors once a week to twice a week over the next few weeks to monitor baby.

I am scheduled to go to University of Utah for a follow-up there on October 3rd. Malone and I both think it's a good idea that I stay there in Salt Lake City until the delivery sometime between Oct. 14-19 just in case I go into labor early. So we'll be making arrangements to find a place for me to stay at that point.